Are You A Poor, Struggling Artist?

At the Lymington craft fair another stall holder came up to me and asked ‘are you a poor, struggling artist?’

Even though this was nearly a month ago, this still frustrates me! I know this was an off-hand comment, that probably didn’t mean anything, but it has clearly touched one of my egotistical artist nerves… Despite advice from one of the most forgiving and beautiful people ever (my lovely mum), I still haven’t let it go.

Recently things having been going as fab as I had hoped. I didn’t sell a huge amount at Lymington, and there’s not been much interest in the items I have listed online… I also have stock at Winchester, but I have no idea how well that’s going.

Part of my frustration has come from the feeling that I’m not communicating how much passion, love and time goes into each mug, bowl, or even vagina… I think people at the fair didn’t realise that the pieces were handmade locally, but I don’t know how to convey this in and easy to understand way. Should I shout it at anyone who looks at the items? Should I have branding and posters that tell people? Should I cover myself in clay and run through the halls?

Each mug or bowl has had at least an hours worth of work put in to it, these aren’t IKEA mugs made in molds and barely touched by peoples hands. When people don’t give them a second glance it hurts.

I know that a lot of the things I’m selling aren’t perfect, and that with each item I make my skills improve. It’s just demoralising when things I’m proud of don’t appeal to other people. I try to not be egotistical, because wanky egotistical artists get right on my tits, so I’d become my own worst nightmare.

But knowing that people don’t want what I’m making is really putting a downer on me returning to the studio. Obviously, going to the studio is something I need to do, and enjoy doing, but I’ve started feeling this pressure that if I go and don’t make something perfect it’s been a waste of time.

I work full-time, and by the time I get home and eat dinner I’m exhausted and want to curl up with a cup of tea in front of Netflix, not go to a cold studio and work until late.

It’s at times like these that I start feeling anxious about going, worrying that everything I make will be awful and a waste of time and money. If I try and throw while stressed the results are never as good as I’d hoped. So I put going off and off, feeling more and more anxious about making mistakes and not enjoying myself. It’s a stupid cycle to get stuck in, but it happens.

I love making and throwing, it’s such an amazing process that can create some really lovely things. Every couple of months I just get stuck in one of these ruts and need a good shove to get out again.

So yes, at the moment maybe I am a struggling artist, but hopefully things will start to develop quicker and I can play with my new glazes and make some more awesome stuff.

(sorry for having a bit of a moan xxx)